The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. Tithe if you love Jesus! Funny Humorous Church Stories.
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite bible stories. Anyone can honk. These are motivational stories that are family friendly.
Copyright © 21st Century Christianity. Many of them were received in email forwards, and I have collected the best to share with you. Amid the thunder and lightening, there came a loud voice… “REPAINT,” it boomed. “I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.
'. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers. amusing thoughts on being a Christian, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd’s attention, said, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn’t my wife!” The crowd was shocked!
Well life and the word teach us that it is, Click Here To Return To The Home Page
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. A man's character is like a fence. Some clever and Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday! I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday.
due. His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" What made ya come?”, Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. History of …
“And you’re still not afraid?” asked Satan.
The boy said, “Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it. Cindy B.: Loved the language like "feisty". The little girl came to the front of the room, faced the class, made a perky little bow, and said, “The Lord is my shepherd, that’s all I want.”. Little Johnny went to Sunday school one Sunday. As the old missionary to China said when asked what was the greatest nessesity of a missionary⦠He Said⦠"The Ability To Laugh When You Feel Like Crying." He said, when he was younger, he thought that the doxology went: “Praise God from whom all blessings go, Praise him all preachers here we go (instead of creatures here below), then praise him above the heavenly host, praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.” He said he thought that because, when everyone sang that, often the preacher leaves the pulpit and walks out!
They agree, and the pastor greets the family. Once when we were taking a large financial gift to a mission house in a poor neighborhood of a very dangerous country, we were confronted by a man with a gun and he told us to "give him the money"⦠He grabbed the bag but I wouldn't let go. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Melissa Mason Ortega: Beautiful. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church, every Sunday.
He followed up by saying, “And that woman was my mother!” The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which went over well. We should be more concerned with the Rock Of Ages, instead of the age of
The front of the church always fills first now. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and he will have to start his sermon all over again!’ It worked.”. Well life and the word teach us that it is God's Spirit and Anointing that make it possible. The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ I remembered where I left me hat.”, Reverend to his congregation: “We have good news and bad news.
A cheating painting contractor had been skimping by thinning his paint excessively. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. About a week later one of the assistant ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in what was his first sermon to the congregation. He was notably very nervous and getting to the microphone he said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!” His congregation sat shocked. As the years have gone by and we have been through some pretty difficult and dangerous situations⦠we have remembered that thought and taken a deep breath and smiled. “Why do you ask?”, “Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed, ’cause there’s someone either comin’ or goin’!”, It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. He said, “Not really – I think I’m gonna have a wife.”. The guy threatenedâ¦. It has literally saved our lives on a number of occasions. He was almost done when a major storm blew up. Before he left he had tears running down his face and asked that we please pray for him.
You can give without loving, but you cannot Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. So, I was going to leave after, Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that, I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”, With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said; “After I talked about, ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?”, Murphy slowly shook his head. After standing there for almost 10 seconds the pastor finally blurted out, “…and I can’t remember who she was!”. The thing that shocked the crowds in Rome when they marched the Christians into the arena to be Martyred... was their Praise and Faith⦠Joy & Trust.
As he shyly approached the pulpit one Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head.
Later, that afternoon, Johnny started feeing sick, and his side began to hurt. “But who’s the fourth person?”, Kyle explained, “Oh, that’s Pontius the Pilot!”, The Sunday School Teacher asked, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?”, “No sir,” little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to – my Mom is a good cook!”, A PENCIL MAKER TOLD THE PENCIL 5 IMPORTANT LESSONS JUST BEFORE PUTTING IT IN THE …, © Copyright 2020, All Rights Reserved.
A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire psalm. A Last Thought... With Every Need... You know the old saying… "With Every Need God Will Supply". More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren’t you afraid of me?”, The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”. They agree, and the pastor greets the family. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.
Funny Christian Stories Home Page Was Compiled By Peter O'Neill. What changed your mind?”, Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”, With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said; “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?”, Murphy slowly shook his head. The Ability To Heave That Sigh Of Relief & Know That God Is In Control & He Is Going To Take Care Of You Somehow⦠No Matter What! But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy!
Under same management for over 2,000 years. These Pages Below Were Built To Give You A Belly Bumping Break From The Pressures & Worries Of Life! Amusing and Good Humoured Religious Jokes.
As Tertullian (c. 160 â c. 225 AD) said⦠"The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church! After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church. Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is “Pastor,” Johnny says, “I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust.”, “And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust.”, “Yes, I’m glad you were listening,” the pastor replies.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. Life has many choices, Eternity has two. Hope Herein You Will Find A Smile & A Bit Of Faith To Help You Face The Trials Of Life. The good news is that we have the money to pay for it.” (appreciative murmers all round), Reverend: “The extra bad news is that it’s still in your pockets!”, A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking.
rock.
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