How To Stop Complaining In A Relationship Whether you’re in a new or long-term relationship, having a partner who constantly complains can be quite challenging. You may have a strong connection with this person, and he or she may possess many other wonderful qualities, but his or her relentless stream of complaints can start to take a toll on you and your relationship. So why is this habit so common? Then we tell someone what isn’t working. 10 Healthy Habits That Can Help You Live A Longer Life. It just might help you lay a solid foundation for your relationship that carries you well into the future Give it a read. This one is a bit tricky, but if done with a bit of finesse, Hartstein says it can be helpful. If your partner is complaining over and over and over again, it may be a sign that something is actually wrong and they may need to talk to a professional about their feelings. While I am by no means a psychologist or a behavior therapist or a relationship counselor, I … It would be great if our partners could always respond favorably to us when we have a discomfort. As hard as it may be to approach the subject, doing so could help salvage your relationship without demanding that their complaints cease immediately. Learn more about relationships and what keeps them going strong, by reading Linda’s book, Safe. Nagging, criticizing, and focusing on what your family or friends are doing wrong causes real damage to your relationships. For example, if your girlfriend complains about the smell of your aftershave, why don’t you check and see if there’s another brand you can find? In addition, if your partner is complaining about things that he or she has no right to be complaining about, this is also a sign that it’s time to move on. Negative stress can also exacerbate chronic health problems, such as diabetes or asthma. To that end, it’s important to recognize when your partner is complaining about something broader. "Complaining impacts a relationship in a not-so-great way. Criticism erodes connection and communication. It can be really challenging to live with someone who is constantly complaining," she says. Complaints can hurt a marriage if they are always negative, and the nature of complaining usually means that this is the case. People who like to complain can often seek out problems that aren’t really there, and this can stem from their own insecurities and lack of self-esteem. That way, you can understand your partner better as well as have the opportunity to help your partner deal with these issues. Required fields are marked *. While you can try to reason with your partner and help quell his or her concerns and complaints, it’s really you who should be concerned. Or that you don’t call her enough, when you do. [ Read More…9 Simple Ways You Can Become a Better Partner ]. 9 Simple Ways You Can Become a Better Partner. That’s the safest way to talk to your mate about what isn’t working. Your partner may not recognize how much he or she complains, and he or she may not be aware of how these complaints weigh on you, annoy you and can spoil your time together. Note that this should be done with a delicate hand as to not make them feel defensive or worse!". If he's doing it day in and day out about every little thing, the stress of hearing the constant flow of negativity can be draining. Making small changes can have a large impact when trying to turn off these complaints. “It’s too hot!” or “I’m cold.” Some of us complain to another. Think about this, the next time you feel uncomfortable, before you announce it, think of what would make you comfortable. This combination usually helps with the process of being able to accept and let go of whatever they may be complaining about.". “Regardless of the reason for or source of the complaining, it is a negative and painful psychological position to take in relationship to self and others,” he says. We speak up when we feel uncomfortable. I think we could all be happy if this were to occur, but that’s not what happens. But when you find yourself on the receiving end of a barrage of complaints, it might be necessary to evoke some low-key intervention that doesn't directly call out your partner by just saying "You HAVE to stop complaining," but still addresses the issue and stops the complaining in its tracks. This is a powerful way to connect our body and our mind and stay content," she tells Romper. If so, it might be worth doing. Happy. Further, by alerting your partner to the content of his or her complaints, he or she can also pay more attention to their sources and try to resolve these complaints before they’re even uttered. Your email address will not be published. In the end, it’s up to you to decide if you want to be in a relationship with a constant complainer. Once you openly and honestly express how your mate’s complaints are affecting you, he or she will be more aware of this behavior and will likely be more inclined to modify these actions in the future. sneaky ways to get your partner to stop complaining. Your mate loves you and wants you to be happy. Is your partner complaining about something that can be easily fixed, changed or remedied? If the complaining spouse is always focused on the negative aspects of life, he or she is more likely to see them, which creates a vicious cycle of more and more complaining. Iâm not sure if itâs just a habit or if you are as unhappy as you really sound. "Commiserate with them, but put a time limit on it so they don't remain stuck (and further entrenched) in the complaining loop. "You can very directly talk to them and say something like, 'I donât think you realize how much you complain. "Often people donât know how much they are complaining or how it sounds to those around them. And this is a skill everyone can learn. "Help them to brainstorm. This sneaky subject change acknowledges what they are feeling but steers the conversation into more positive territory. I think we could all be happy if this were to occur, but that’s not what happens. [ Read More.. How Can You Tell If Your Partner Isn’t Over His Ex? We feel a discomfort and we speak about it right away. A romantic evening together may be overshadowed by your partner’s dissatisfaction with the restaurant’s service, the small portions, the dark bathrooms and whatever else may have rubbed him or her the wrong way. My Husband & I Have Different Work Schedules, How To Manage. How To Get Rid Of Flabby Legs Fast? "Ask the miracle question, 'In an ideal world, what would this situation look like?' "You can say something like, 'I know you are really unhappy and frustrated about XYZ, but do you realize that this other thing in your life is actually really good.' or 'I'm sorry this is happening' to show empathy for your partner," Jordan says. $175 per session with Linda. It's something you can do together, but doesn't outright let your partner know that you're actively trying to get them to stop complaining. This not only helps with brainstorming but the act of visualizing a more positive situation helps to reroute pathways in the brain to elicit change," she says. When your partner starts complaining, see if they're open to a timed vent session. Talking to a therapist is a great way to deal with the situation head on. Luckily, this doesn't happen with him very often, but if you happen to find yourself in this predicament, these seven sneaky ways to get your partner to stop complaining may just help quell the issue. If he or she knows that would accomplish that I guarantee you they will do it for you. If you’re finding that your partner has the propensity to complain, it’s important to listen to the type of complaint that your partner is expressing. Basically, if you hear your partner complaining, one thing you can do to try to stave off the negativity they're putting out is to point out something positive.
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